Phoebe's songs

Smelly Cat

Chorus:
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat
What are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, smelly cat,
It's not your fault...

They won't take you to the vet.
You're obviously not their favourite pet.
You may not be a bed of roses,
And you're no friend to those with noses.

Chorus

Parading goats are parading,
Parading down the street.
Parading goats are parading,
Leaving little treats

Holiday Song

Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap
Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap
Said all you need is to write them a song
Now you haven't heard it yet so don't try to sing along
No don't sing along
Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowwwwwy
And Rachel and Chandler, (mumbles something) handler!

When I Play

Jingle bitch screwed me over
Go to hell jingle whore
Go to hell, go to hell, go to h-h-hell

Papier Maché

< three snaps>
I, I'm still waiting for my papier maché man

Stephanie

My sticky shoe
My sticky, sticky shoe
Why you stick on me, ba-a-bay?

Tony Tarzan

Little Tony Tarzan
Swinging on an nose hair
Swinging with the greatest of ease...

Crazy Underwear

Are you in there little fetus?
In nine months will you come greet us?
I will buy you some Adidas

Crusty Old Man

...And the crusty old man said "I'll do what I can"
And the rest of the rats played maracas

The 66 Colours of my Bedroom

TWO OF THEM KISSED LAST NIGHT

There was a girl.
We'll call her Betty.
And a guy.
Let's call him Neil.
Now, I can't stress this point too strongly,
This story isn't real.

(....)

Now our Neil must decide,
Who will be the girl he casts aside.
Will Betty be the one he loves truly,
Or will it be the one who we'll call...Lulie?
He MUST decide,
He MUST decide,
Even though I made him up he MUST decide

THE GRANDMA SONG

Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes,
She bought you a train,
And a bright shiny bike.
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner,
And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.
Now, your mum and dad said she moved to Peru,
But the truth is she died,
And someday you will too.
La la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

I made a man with eyes of coal
And a smile so bewitchin',
How was I supposed to know,
My mom was dead in the kitchen

They're soft and they're cuddly and so sweet to touch,
Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much,
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why,
You cry and you cry and you cry,
And you cry and you cry and you ..

Blackout

New York city has no power,
And the milk is getting sour,
But to me it is not scary,
'Cos I stay away from dairy,
la la la la...